Do you ever doubt yourself as a parent? I remember telling JT when we first got married the best present we could give our children was a "healthy marriage". Whew is that ever difficult, then you get three boys with three distinctly different personalities and whewwwwwwwwww I'm just out of my mind! I have loved this child so much it hurts. It is hard to love what you don't love about yourself...stubborn, closed, hurting, needy...yet so beautiful in most ways. I need prayers and guidance and patience and help and a good counselor and a foster home and another grandparent and an easier self help book on raising beautiful boys...who don't share, don't care, smell, pee on the seat, only want to play video games and talk about "Nazi Zombies"...I need help. Any help on forgiveness, on dredging up what God has forgiven...what does that feel like? We are going through it. Please know I want better. Someone remember that at my funeral...she really did want better...too bad for her, she was a nice mom...Emphasize NICE please!
Oh sweet Cassie! We've all had those days. I wonder what my kids will be getting therapy for when they grow up...that I caused. It will be something.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I've heard regarding parenting is "If God, who is the perfect parent, had children who sin, what makes you think you won't?" Adam & Eve started it. We're all doing it. Hang in there!
Nothing I say will be new to you. We definitely all need prayer for what we do as parents. That you and JT have vowed to maintain excellence in your marriage is a worthy purpose, especially for your boys to witness.
ReplyDeleteI keep trying to remind myself that these are God's children, not mine. Granted, He has entrusted them to my husband and me, but, ultimately, they are His. So, if we are living right by God and His Word and taking care of their basic needs--and can keep that going--that's good news. We need to have faith that God will do His working in them as their Father!
Otherwise, as we don't have boys over here, the advice that I've heard about them is to just keep yourself available to them. Keep close to them without butting into their space. Whereas girls want to physically cling to you for as long as possible, boys need the security of knowing that you are there to cling to when they're ready.
Meantime, perhaps there is a ministry to be born of mothers of middle-schoolers and beyond....
God will be very pleased with you. You are a terrific mother and you are raising really nice boys. I love them all. Sophie in particular loves them. Thanks for today. I had fun. valerie
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