Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Playdate #2 Mimi & Deshay





Mama's having her teeth pulled to day..."Tassie, can I play in that sand box?" My own kids would not dare play in that sandbox, it's old sand with the past years leaves in it. Mimi and Deshay had a beautiful day. They had never made a sandcastle, never made a cake, never made pancakes...I gave them a frisbee to put sand into and taught them how to make pancakes...Mimi said "tan I have another one of those pancake makers?" that's a frisbee to us. Evidently she hasn't played much with a frisbee...so much we take for granted. Mimi can't say her "c's", she's 5. She can't count, she can't read any letters, she can't spell her name....but she is wise beyond her 5 years...she knows about foodstamps, no hotwater.."Thris gets mad at her"...Chris is Denise's significant other....our time is invaluable to these babies.

Poverty amongst us




For the last week I have been working with friends on this home.
This is the home of Mimi, Deshay & Raymond. This is their kitchen, they have lived liked this since Nov., they moved 5 other places before arriving here...thier new home. Their mother is 28, four kids(one given away), I've talked to you about her before, this is what poverty looks like in Richmond, she has foodstamps now for food, she's recieving tanif..which is temporary assistance to families in need, she gets about 600 and some odd dollars a month. She owes folks money, there is no way to see that she'll EVER get ahead. Her youngest is 18 months, it won't be until her baby is close to daycare/headstart age that she'll see hope..that's if she doesn't get pregnant again, "she hates taking pills"...her husband "doesn't like wearing latex" sorry to be so blunt...My question to you and our Father is what is our role in all of this. She's one of many women who need our support. A friend who is honest with her, who cares enough to tell her the truth. Who helps her by example, empowers her yet does not enable her. It's a very tight rope to walk on. You are drawn in by the precious children who resemble your own. We were there tonight, my children played right along side the neighbor children, they didn't notice thier skin color. One little boy, Keshawn, asked what we were doing in July? He wanted Davis to come to his birthday party, I said i think we'll be around.

Monday, March 23, 2009

What Happens in the darkness, will come out in the light!


Dear Free Market friends,
It was a beautiful day yesterday. The soup that was made by the youth(120 quarts Friday night before) was so well received and loved. One man went out to the curb, opened his up and ate it all, cold. He was hungry. The group home folks helped Terry so much and they are growing in their self esteem and self worth. Paul is really coming out of his shell and he is helping more and more every week, a person who can be counted on, very high functioning. Joseph, an adorable group home man, who has obvious needs, has to be in his late 60's if not older, was empowered by Terry's love for him and allowed him to really give his gifts and talents to making the soup. He has autistic behaviors and I cannot tell you how proud he was of himself on Sat and he took his quart of soup home and loved it tenderly. God is showing us so much each week. Collen read scripture from the Bible James 2 14-20 Read that! We are doing what God calls us to do. Faithfully. JT gave friends a ride home and the lady ask JT "why are you doing this for us?" JT states, b/c God tells me too love you and others. Plus he states, it's helping me to grow in my faith and in my worth to Him."
James, a freemarket friend, who clearly has drug issues, was so angry last week, I tried to talk to him, he's in a lot of back pain, he left last week without getting his food or wares, he came back this week. He was brighter, happier and I asked him why he was so different and he said he was in less pain. He asked me if he could come volunteer, I said sure, but you can't take when you volunteer, but God will fill you with so much more". He began to tear up, his eyes swelled with tears, and I asked him if he had a church home, he said "No, I don't go to church anymore." I said, "James, God will forgive you of your wrongs and accept you as you are if you ask Him to." Tears trickled down his face, I asked him if he'd talk to a Northminster member, he said "Yes". Angela spoke to him about " secrets" and told him she'd sit with him on Sunday, they had a deal. I'm waiting to see if he went. But even if he didn't go, the seed has been sowed. God forgives, he accepts us, we are loved. Life improves on Earth, your seat is guaranteed in eternity.
Each week we see more new faces, faces offering love and acceptance. BJ was new, home from JMU, a dance and theatre major, played the piano at the free market and pulled Taekwon aside and played with him, Taekwon has no father who cares about him, he's drawn to men who could love him. It's a beautiful sight each week. BJ took five minutes out of his time and loved him. Glenda loved on Taekwon, she ask him for his help in the kitchen, she was amazing with him. Taekwon lives in Gilpin court, he has a beautiful mother who some of you know(Paulette) the church has really rallied around her, she's now the custodian of the church and she loves her job, and I love her so much. She is so wise, I asked her if she thinks she'll always live in the projects, she said, "I prayed for this job and God gave it to me, and I pray to get out of the projects, and I know if God wants me out, he'll find a way." I told her I have a lot to learn from her."
The community garden opens in April, which will allow fresh vegetables for the friends of the food Pantry and Free Market, more help and love will be needed, please know none of this is done without loving followers of Christ. You are needed. Wednesday nights JT & Pam o. come over and unload the trailer @ 6:45, help is limited if not scarce. Terry & I work on Fridays with a very few faithful friends, help is needed 9:30-12, it's the only sorting day.
Sat we have so many wonderful friends, 10-12, more leadership is needed to pick up Paneras and show up 30 mins early to set up logistics, it's painless.
This is turning out so beautiful, we are certain it can only be God's doing. It is not hard and the gifts are huge and endless. If you have a story you want others to hear, send it to me. So much happens, I cannot begin to tell you all of it.
I love it all..and it speeds by quickly.
JT, Palmer & I go to Haiti(missionary work) in April, I'm gone for two of the weeks...YOUR help is needed. Please think it over, pray about it. Your commitment does not have to be life long, just hours.
All wares are needed, small furniture, kitchen appliances, housewares, need for silverware and dishes, linens and towels. Toys and shorts for men & children.
Love and thanks to you all,
His Faithfully,
Cassie Matthew
--
Cassie Matthew
"You know you've made it when you don't see color, you see the man."
Yele's father

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Pals




I'm just grateful for my pallies, buddies, and chicklets I couldn't do without. Girlfriends to cry with, talk to, study the Bible with and drive to the liquor store with. Friends who come to my children's plays, friends who don't judge my mistakes. Friends who remind me of my husbands good points, and laugh at me when I'm ridiculous! Friends who getly remind me, we all forget things...even me..your keys.
Friends who have taught me joy, taught me fluffing up! You know these are all WOMEN...not men. Women are vital to my life, women without jobs, women who are on welfare, women who encourage me when I just can't stand my marriage another day(or 18 years). Women who love me when I have gas, when I spit, when I look like someone out of Deliverance. I've had great women in my life who have helped me accept Christ, who taught me the answers are in the Bible, who constantly teach me about forgiveness and perserverence even when I want to quit. Girlfreinds who constantly give me books to read..just this one..."you'll love it." And I do. Friends who let me cry and talk non stop...Friends who call regularly, friends who never call, but they(we) never leave each other. Friends who can walk out for years, and walk right back in without a blink of an eye, we love each other more and more with every breath we have left. Friends who have left their mark on me. What would I do without my friends? I'd be so lonely, sad, bitter and fatter. I wouldn't know about cooking(still don't), limits,(still don't)marriage(still don't), decorating, literature,abandoned buildings & feeling empowered to do what I want.
Just want you to know that today.........I have the BEST Girlfriends EVER! And just because your photo is not here..don't be sensitve...I'm sparing you humiliation today. I could NOT live without my girlfriends. I love YOU so.

Mother of Amazing Boys



Just to let you know how schizophrenic I really am, today I love them so much. Boy they are such wonderful boys, I just pray they will love me the same one day. Davis was accepted into the IB program this week, he's planning his route to college at 8 and Parker had the lead in Lion King last night. One minute Parker can't ask "where the applesauce is in Kroger" the next night he's leading the entire Fifth grade in the "Circle of life", it's no wonder I'm a crack pot. How can you love children so much yet want to snap their heads off so quickly at the same time? I'm amazed at how different they all three are, and how lovingly unique God has made them, but it sure is hard to parent three different personalities. One minute I have to be sensitive with one, sarcastic with another, motivating with the third and pray any of it is helping. We are just trying to raise boys who love God, kind to others, help the world to be a better place, go to college so they have choices in life and all while Jt & I are barely healthy ourselves. I cannot imagine why more isn't required of us before we have children. Why did God make it so easy for some to conceive children without a huge need for a study guide before giving birth? All of this parenting makes me a crazy Cruela DaVille, Sybil on a bad day and Mother Teresa once in a very blue moon.
However, today I love them very much, but I am also delirious with sleep deprivation.
Until tomorrow. I continue to pray.

Monday, March 16, 2009

What is behind our smiles!


Monday morning is shopping day for the Food pantry, let me put that cape on and head to the food bank with Terry, but first we must head to Starbucks for coffee, b/c we can't do our "volunteerism" without coffee, second we must go to the bank to pay her house payment in CASH...go figure, I'm not heading to the Food bank with her house payment in cash in a Starbucks bag...are you a fool, we're going to get bumped off in the head b/c we have $1000 cash in the car as we head to the food bank. So off we go and I tell her I need to stop at the liquor store b/c I'm having a "gold" party today...so i need LIQUOR! The liquor store doesn't open 'till 10am, it's 9:30, sorry you early morning drinkers...so now we have to make a second trip to the liquor store after our volunteerism....gig.
We laugh our heads off at the food bank, dodging carts full of canned goods, it's race to the canned fruits...I win, I have a better plan to knock the seniors out...you have to be a savvy shopper at the food bank or you are out of luck and out of the "good stuff"! We are making a run for "soup for the soul" for Friday night...as we head to the liquor store twice in one day! Plus at the same time we are bustin on the "diabetes's' issue everyone is so concerned with at the Free market...For LORDS sake, can someone just be real about what is important with these folks and most people? They need more than a Diabetes screening, they need a savior, someone who will keep their children from getting raped, someone who will care they are a depressed society of overburdened women...men who are down b/c they can't work...but let's screen them for diabetes's! Sounds good to me! Got it...and by they way when you are at the food bank, get the best fruits and vegis there are, lite, and no pork n beans please, and next time can you get more fruit!
People are insane!
How 'bout the rest of the world with their great ideas shop and care for the diabetes problem at the free market! Since when is it OK to step in and improve on a system that is far from perfect, yet you come once and a blue moon to suggest "the people" need more fruit b/c of their diabetes! Just love the people! Come, sit beside them, talk about the hard stuff.
Love, it's hard for everyone!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

March Madness


Subject: Free Market Report 3/14

Dear Pals,
Second Saturday of the "new" system.....only my first Saturday, so I have nothing to compare it to. I can tell you we have a lot to learn from our friends about being patient. They are flexible, willing, kind, able, open, will not "touch" a thing without being directed to...and so thankful. The irony of the "new system" is none have been turned away...we put the system in place b/c of hoarding, madness, chaos, "people" who came from outside of the zip code, and folks who were selling the wares. Well in two weeks, we've given away all the food, created madness on our part, meaning I'm stressed b/c we've put "bureaucracy" on our friends, no one has been turned away,(b/c of zip code issues) and if they didn't qualify for food, they wanted clothes...one outfit they are told.
We just want to "love" people. love them as Jesus instructs us to do.There are great things that happen, and most does NOT revolve around food or wares. Most revolves around walking someone out to their car, us caring their groceries. Reading to a child while their parents are shopping, Someone helping "taco" find a pair of pants that fit, or helping Lonnie find jeans b/c he clearly can't read and figure out the sizes. Finding a turtleneck for Catherine, giving Charmaine(freemarket friend turned volunteer) a job, watching Zeldina & Marie busily(freemarket friends) packing bread, filling bags, and feeling like a "team member".
April is nervous she tells Terry, it's her first time to "volunteer", she's always been a shopper. April is the poster child of what God wants to see happen I feel. She came in November for Thanksgiving, Tim & Terry have dedicated their entire SUNDAYS to picking up April and two other families, EVERY WEEK...to come to church, b/c they don't drive and if they could don't have cars. She has applied for jobs, gotten a job, quit a job, still looking for the next job. She emails folks, joined a small group, was the one person who started a collection for the custodian who was badly injured in a motorcycle accident. She was given $5.00 and she wanted it to go towards Bible study snacks...that reminds me of the Bible story of where Jesus states she gave Sacrificially". She wanted her 3 year old son dedicated, her entire family came. Abby(youth leader) saw something in her....she GAVE April her car...Abby is now teaching April to drive, she is empowered by God and those who encourage her, those who are like Pauls' Barnabas.....telling her...You can do it April! We are so proud of you!
That is what we are about! Loving people, did they like the new sheets? Absolutely! Did they love the jeans and new under ware, without a doubt....but they really love it when we ask...hey...what's your name and tell me your story! Can I get you a hot cup of coffee?
Alonzo(first time friend) was blown away by his experience, he told JT that "you guys are the real deal." Terry S. had taken the time to talk to him invited him to church, he asked if there was a "Sunday school"...he came today...just as he was.
God is glorified....we just need to open up our hearts, risk getting close....OH, I forgot one thing, George(NHPC) took Moses somewhere, left Charlotte(wife) and she had no idea where he went, Moses has to be in his late 70's, he loved Carl...he's always asked about Carl(Jeanne's late husband), now George is taking care of Moses, Carl is beaming in heaven.
I'm so glad for the opportunity to give my heart, I am scared. Can we do it long term...I pray.
YOU are vital to the ministry............Just come and give your time, bring those wares that are building up in your home and have lost their value to you.
What you have to give is priceless. Time
I am blessed, I am loved, I am a child of God.
Love Cassie

Friday 9:30-12
Sat 10-12

March Madness

Dear Pals,
Second Saturday of the "new" system.....only my first Saturday, so I have nothing to compare it to. I can tell you we have a lot to learn from our friends about being patient. They are flexible, willing, kind, able, open, will not "touch" a thing without being directed to...and so thankful. The irony of the "new system" is none have been turned away...we put the system in place b/c of hoarding, madness, chaos, "people" who came from outside of the zip code, and folks who were selling the wares. Well in two weeks, we've given away all the food, created madness on our part, meaning I'm stressed b/c we've put "bureaucracy" on our friends, no one has been turned away,(b/c of zip code issues) and if they didn't qualify for food, they wanted clothes...one outfit they are told.
We just want to "love" people. love them as Jesus instructs us to do.There are great things that happen, and most does NOT revolve around food or wares. Most revolves around walking someone out to their car, us caring their groceries. Reading to a child while their parents are shopping, Someone helping "taco" find a pair of pants that fit, or helping Lonnie find jeans b/c he clearly can't read and figure out the sizes. Finding a turtleneck for Catherine, giving Charmaine(freemarket friend turned volunteer) a job, watching Zeldina & Marie busily(freemarket friends) packing bread, filling bags, and feeling like a "team member".
April is nervous she tells Terry, it's her first time to "volunteer", she's always been a shopper. April is the poster child of what God wants to see happen I feel. She came in November for Thanksgiving, Tim & Terry have dedicated their entire SUNDAYS to picking up April and two other families, EVERY WEEK...to come to church, b/c they don't drive and if they could don't have cars. She has applied for jobs, gotten a job, quit a job, still looking for the next job. She emails folks, joined a small group, was the one person who started a collection for the custodian who was badly injured in a motorcycle accident. She was given $5.00 and she wanted it to go towards Bible study snacks...that reminds me of the Bible story of where Jesus states she gave Sacrificially". She wanted her 3 year old son dedicated, her entire family came. Abby(youth leader) saw something in her....she GAVE April her car...Abby is now teaching April to drive, she is empowered by God and those who encourage her, those who are like Pauls' Barnabas.....telling her...You can do it April! We are so proud of you!
That is what we are about! Loving people, did they like the new sheets? Absolutely! Did they love the jeans and new under ware, without a doubt....but they really love it when we ask...hey...what's your name and tell me your story! Can I get you a hot cup of coffee?
Alonzo(first time friend) was blown away by his experience, he told JT that "you guys are the real deal." Terry S. had taken the time to talk to him invited him to church, he asked if there was a "Sunday school"...he came today...just as he was.
God is glorified....we just need to open up our hearts, risk getting close....OH, I forgot one thing, George(NHPC) took Moses somewhere, left Charlotte(wife) and she had no idea where he went, Moses has to be in his late 70's, he loved Carl...he's always asked about Carl(Jeanne's late husband), now George is taking care of Moses, Carl is beaming in heaven.
I'm so glad for the opportunity to give my heart, I am scared. Can we do it long term...I pray.
YOU are vital to the ministry............Just come and give your time, bring those wares that are building up in your home and have lost their value to you.
What you have to give is priceless. Time
I am blessed, I am loved, I am a child of God.
Love Cassie

Friday 9:30-12
Sat 10-12

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Loving Unconditionally..who made that up?


Do you ever doubt yourself as a parent? I remember telling JT when we first got married the best present we could give our children was a "healthy marriage". Whew is that ever difficult, then you get three boys with three distinctly different personalities and whewwwwwwwwww I'm just out of my mind! I have loved this child so much it hurts. It is hard to love what you don't love about yourself...stubborn, closed, hurting, needy...yet so beautiful in most ways. I need prayers and guidance and patience and help and a good counselor and a foster home and another grandparent and an easier self help book on raising beautiful boys...who don't share, don't care, smell, pee on the seat, only want to play video games and talk about "Nazi Zombies"...I need help. Any help on forgiveness, on dredging up what God has forgiven...what does that feel like? We are going through it. Please know I want better. Someone remember that at my funeral...she really did want better...too bad for her, she was a nice mom...Emphasize NICE please!

Catch & Release


I just finished a terrific book ___"Same Kind of Different as Me", Bobby's mother gave it to me, i really didn't think she even knew me, seems she knows me better than I know her. I am trying to understand urban culture, so I don't put my ideas on them, I can understand their cultures and make personal mental adjustments, not judgements.
Denver states to Ron, "white folks like to go fishing and catch and release, Black folks go fishing and keep everything and eat it all." It seems he thinks we do Ministry like we fish, catch them at Christmas, Advent, Easter, or the homeless in winter or a soup kitchen on Wednesdays......Then what happens...we release...and head on to the next best one time commitment...VBS or 40 days of something, or CARITAS...huh.......do we really want to build relationships? Do we really want to hear their woes, do we really want to know they can't afford water or electric? If we did that would mean time...a long time...family time...a meal together.
I want to go fishing "black folk style". I want to try, I'm not used to fishing that way. I need the help of a savior...I'm afraid.

Going Green?


Today was a grand day for the Free Market. I went to 8 hotels and asked for their old sheets towels and linens....and I hit the jackpot! My friends are going to be so happy! I was able to get "gleans" from a great hotel Wyndham Hotel & Hampton Inn gave me sheets, towels, pillows blankets, phones, bathroom accessories...beautiful plush robes...wash clothes so wonderful!
Just when you think no one cares..you meet a soul like "Amy" & "Freddie" who do!
My heart was soaring...I'll go tomm and hit two more hotels they gave me the "in" on...hotels that they say are going green. Green How? They recycle cardboard but turnover their decorations when a new hotel moves in next door, typically they give or throw away items that are not of perfect quality...who's perfect? What's wrong with this country that we can't just be satisfied with good customer service...we have to have new sheets and a more up to date comforter because the neighbor's house is shinier...if that is such a word.
Freddie said he has one "beef" with folks saying they'll come pick up items then they never do what they say they will do!
I assured Freddie I feel the same way. Jesus tells us...Let your Yes be a Yes...and your No be a NO!
Amen to that, I'm sick of "we'll see." I love a committed person, either yes or no...at least I honestly know where you stand.
I am grateful for the new wares. I can't wait to see my friends faces when they get new pillows...never been used except for "show".