When is it time to QUIT?

We have turned a really hard and rigid corner, we have done the very best we could and we still are not qualified, capable enough to do what we "Dreamed" we could do. I dreamed of putting homeless into housing, mostly men; poor men who depend on housing from women, working poor men, men from prison, men from rehab, men with disabilities, men who were kicked out of thier family home. Why? Because so many men are so hurt and broken from a very early age, men are not aloud or taught to share hurt, at the very start of preschool, then puberty, by now, they know....something hurts but they are unable to articulate the pain, and No ONE ASKS. So many MEN were left as "Babies" and "Boys", "man up son....go out and play." Those were the answers they heard, "No Crying!"
I am a mother of three boys, and there is not a moment I wouldn't hesitate to hold them so tight they couldn't breathe I love them so much, unfortunately, boys/men don't always get the love they need, girls too, but my interest was(is) men. In this city, a poor mother with children gets benefits and attention, the more children, the faster they are housed, men get nothing in comparison. They need to go WORK!
You see it everywhere in the streets of the poor, boys raised without loving fathers, absent fathers, WHO IS MY FATHER?
It always comes down to one basic concept: LOVE. Can you Love me enough to get me through life? Is there ANYONE left who loves me? Most of the men I work with have been through everything, abandonment, beatings, ignored, failures in school, suspensions, kicked out, joined gangs, began to find value in "things", and the last step to the beautiful journey of what "unfathered boys and broken homes of men have gone through" we then send them to Prison.
I often say, we want "pro-life", but we don't want to LOVE these Babies THROUGH LIFE! Let them be born, into the worst of scenerios, but forget the most important concept that without love, we die, at least we die inside. LOVING hurt and broken people is not easy, and it is a full time job. Never forget, we are all broken and hurt in some way, it's your support network and Faith that saves most.

Just giving someone: a nice home, private bedroom, clean place, new bed, cable, internet, washer and dryer, fresh linens, new everything, as we discovered....just wasn't enough. HUM has two homes that were prepared for 8 men (total), we started in 2011, and we are OFFCIALLY DONE with that adventure, and many nights and days, it was more than an adventure we were willing or capable of dealing with.

Calls like: "I need a comb. I can't figure out the internet, I don't know how to work the computer, I need a tutor, Jimbob won't clean the bathroom, Billy, won't clean the stove, Jimbob left pee on the seat, Jimbob is trying to kill me, he has hidden a Butcher knife in the Trix box, calls to the police, changed locks everytime someone left mad(12 times), someone is using my soap, someone is stealing my food, someones is using my butter, Jeff is using Heroin, drug testing the whole house(often and expensive), Jerry is having prostitutes in the house, Mark is having his homeless friend spend the nights on our couch, no one will cut the grass, I did it last time, I can't pay this time, I only have enough for my methodone dose, I need a ride, My bike was stolen, I don't want to put books into our little library. Why can't we smoke in the house? Who is supposed to buy cleaning products and trash can bags? At Christmas, my roommate won't let my family come over, can you come help? Jerald is back in jail for shoplifting, can I have his stuff?" Can we have pets, can we eat in our rooms, we have mice now, Mike flooded the Washer & Dryer, John yelled at me, now I'm not speaking to him, he is not the manager.....the house is cold the house is hot, I need AC in my room...NOW. Exhausting.

After 5 years of a lot of drama, more drama that we could possibly handle as two people, we have decided to close both homes and sell to homeowners we have relationships with. Two families have transitioned to homeownership(HUM is the micro-lender), and HUM could not be happier, July 1st we will once again start over with a new model: we will rent only to families interested in home ownership, accountability, respect for thier own home, and want a different life, a better life, a chance at owning a home regarless of criminal background, regardless of credit HISTORY. We all have a history, but who is willing to try hard for the American dream?

You must hear me, it hasn't all been difficult, we have shared great moments of love and success: first cars, first boats, gone fishing, taken a first vacation, getting out of debt, paying fines, learning the computer, learning blackboard, learning how to print a document, back to college, first apartments without roommates. Some were very appreciative, many were entitled, many forgot we were just people, trying to make a difference. Many learned to open up a bank account, buy car insurance, pay off debts, pay child support, cut thier first CD, finish a project for the first time EVER in thier lives, pay rent on time, buy clothes for the first time, get all their affairs in order, call thier families for the first time since getting out of prison. Driving to Wilson N.C. to see a person's mother, since prison, for the first time clean(drugfree). Tearful moments, heartfelt moments, but as the end draws near, we want a Non Profit that can focus on those who WANT success, and there are real people who want that. We are finding them daily, we just cannot buy homes fast enough to place those deserving families, singles, couples into those homes that are needed.

In July we will purchase our 4th home into the non profit, after we once again, re-gut a home that the tenants decided wasn't worth thier time to take care of. That is what we are done with: disrespect, entitlement, freebies, no accountability, no ownership.

Pray for us. We really believe we have THE best life ever, we are NOT Done until God closes the door, we are not DONE with what God has called us to. We have done nothing but learn from our mistakes, our failures and our successes.
We have learned more about the City of Richmond than we ever knew, and it's not all good, far from what is needed. We have learned that the systems are over loaded, broken, taxed, workers have too big of case loads, many hate thier jobs, most are a little jaded with people. Many of the big non profits pay a lot of money out in salaries and get all the grants....We are not done yet.

With every failure or mistake we grow wiser and we just keep adjusting our methods. At many times it feels a little like a cat and mouse game, or "Survivor"..."Out Wit, Out Last, Out Play!"
We have a model that works, now we find those people interested in real life changes, and can take on the accountability and responsibilty of homeownership, which is not easy. If you have never owned a home, it's scary, if you don't have a savings, it's scary, you live in fear something will break. Many in poverty live in Crisis, we, HUM, are digging in until we succeed! We are not exactly sure what that looks like, but I think in time, we will be able to "FEEL" it!

Thanks to so many who continue to support our dreams and visions, we are determinded to make a difference in our lifetime. We know, we have a sustainable model, we intend to succeed. We feel called.